Take your pick

Take your pick

Every now and then more often times than usual we are faced with decisions we have to make, we all have a different way of approaching situations some are more like the next persons but that doesn't exclude us from being individuals.

I had a long heart felt chat with a 'female' friend of mine over bbm yesterday, the topic we had was after a post we spotted on facebook which read

If men can pick women based on their looks... whats wrong with picking a man based on their wallets? If we had to pick men just on their looks majority of them would never have women #TRUESTORY

By all means ladies please be yourselve's how you pick your 'men' is entirely up to you, only you can determine what makes you happy, whether how your preferences in the selection process make you seem like a 'bad girl' or not thats an entirely different story.

Here's what me and my friend had to say:

Girl: See now that's someone u should be running from3-|

Nt every guy chooses a gal coz of her looks people are individuals and we all look for different things that might or might nt make us nasty people

Girl: True... Even so, no one wants an ugly girl, n no one wants a broke or stingy guy....even with those different things u look for: if 2 gals (one better looking than the other) both have them- you will pick the better looking. Jus like with with females: if  2 guys (one financially stable and other broke) have what u want a guy- u will pick the stable.....

I guess its a matter of preference

Girl: Guess so

People hav different reasoning and we are all unique no 1 person is alike the other and we all dnt want the same things in life we want what we want and do wt we do because in our eyes its right it may look different to the next person

Girl: True, even so...in our uniqueness there dominant common factors, n money n beauty are a few...no one can argue that.

Mmm yes but let's not incline to present or hold a partial perspective at the expense of equally valid alternatives
Because the dominant factor is "and this is going on my blog post" happiness thts the dominant factor and how you go about acquiring that would reflect in what kind of person u are, humble, good, bad, holy etc

Girl: Lol! Either way vusani! U want to be happy with someone beautiful- myt not be thee most beautiful! But u want her beautiful...

Beautiful in your eyes vivien, sum1 can be beautiful to u and ugly to the next

Girl: Yeah! But u want her beautiful!
Girl: Stop fyting it.... U want ur gal beautiful
Girl: She ur gal, so obviously u chose her with ur idea of beauty...

Lol lol no u dnt knw what I want, I want a gal who can be true to me! A gal I can relate to! Etc not how beautiful she is that's irrelevant

Girl: Stop lying to yourself>:/... U want a gal with all of that! And would love her to be beautiful with all of that...either beauty is there!

Ur being bias

Girl: And before u can know if u can relate to that girl...your door way to finding that is her physical appearance...so her beauty to u is a factor...
U don't know how many "not beautiful gals" in eyes...u have passed and not even bothered to give those gals a chance, to find out if they perfect for you or not...

What ur doing is looking beyond reason and ignoring the basis of the general factor and with that your effectively creating a stereotype of how one chooses a relationship
More so I believe your associating the general of human kind with ur select group of individuals

Girl: Sorry if it hurts you... that a girls physical appearance is a factor...its the truth nunu
Girl: Yes after years, that beauty myt not be a big deal and a factor, with u being with her....but at first it was one of them:)

I dnt think u are understanding what I'm saying here, I'm looking at a broader spectrum nt the the preferences of a click

Girl: Its my opinion, Beauty matters to everyone...

"Ur opinion" ok ur entitled to that :)


This was a very enlightening conversation I had with my friend, it broadened an understanding of the different individuals we come accross and how we perceive them/each other, to one person being primarily interested in a relationship for material benefits might be justifiable for what ever cognitive reason they believe to be completely valid and with that they might aswell try to bring comparisons which might or might not be valid for that situation.

We begin to learn wisely when we're willing to see the world from other people's perspective.-Toba Beta


I have to go with the girl hey... All men want their girl beautiful and then ofcorse the personality.
Bt fact is all men want a woman they can show off. The sad truth is that not all
Men will get that girl and will have to settle for sumin else *smh* a girl always
Has to look good next to her man. Ugly girls can be pretty too, all u need is a lil
Make up n a weave. That's all t takes *shrugs*.so either way conflict, u want ur girl beautiful.

Well patty i'm not so sure if that is indeed a "fact" but in all fairness lets not group "all men" into one class of only seeking beauty nor even a little of it, simply because there are different people out there and we all don't think alike.

Misconceptions... Yes we like beautiful girls as in seeing and being around them for that matter but we look at things a lil differently when going for a girl to date...can we relate? Is she into clubbing and am I? Her intellect? Can we have a decent conversation without me having to explain a lot of things...such things. And very often it just happens that the girl we choose to date happens to be beautiful...

The first thing guys notice about any girl is looks, after this, the girl then can distinguish whether he just likes her for her looks or not.,.that's where all that intellectual convo comes into play, along with ambitions, goals and all that jazz.,. If the girl is dumb or whatever then guy would still go out with her for the sake of having a hot girl, which is most of the time the case, not all men, like vivien seems to suggest, no offence.

"The true beauty that matters in any and all relationships is the beauty that is found not in physical looks but the soul of the two who are joined in true devotion and affection for each other."

Mara beauty does matter. I side with the girl.. Even the Bible Yari " Husband enjoy your beautiful wife..." Mara yet when it comes to beauty. we all see differently...
I Had a friend who thought his girlfriend was the most beautiful lady, on the face of the earth, but, she was ugly to me. . .

Beauty inspires us, by reminding us that the extraordinary is possible. Beauty assures us that life offers it, and that we can find more if we seek more.Being admired for being attractive feels good. When something feels good, it’s easy to want more of it, whether it’s beauty, wealth, popularity, fame, food, or wine.

fact remains: we all love people things, from clothes to cars,to women/men, babies, etc....you just tell yourself that beauty does not matter to you, mara naturally, deeply, beauty is something that makes your eyes happy...

vusi stop lying to yourself and us... you happen to be dating one of the hottest girls in the world, you cant tell me gore you were not charmed by those deep dimples, the girls are right, guys are drawn to women cos of the way they look. you might like em big and your friend might like them skinny... either way you are attracted to them by the way they look...
YOU guys don't walk around with a "personality/intellect raider" you check out the girls you're attracted to on the streets. some of you guys like them tall, some short, light skinned, dark skinned... some of yols like em with a phat booty, some like big tits... whatever the case may be. you use your eyes to pick the girl... the qualities come after... and vusi how do you tell an "ugly" (and by ugly i mean hideous), girl she's beautiful when you know she's not appealing and you only chose her cos of the qualities you want in a girl...

if yols are serious about what you saying... i dare yol guys to go out there and mack on the first girl yols lay your eyes on...WE WANT FEED BACK!!!

To a certain extend I can concur with you there chelsi lol, I do however don't stand for every guy being labeled to only be interested in girls because of what they see, a guy may not be interested in a girl at first sight that's a possibility we shouldn't overlook and thus as time goes on and they get to know each other they establish a common interest in each other and their worlds collide :)
As for your dare i would say "Interest at first sight is not always there"

Yeah I agree with gladys

I'm going to have to disagree with the ladies on this one and do not stand with any "click" as Vee states, I firmly support the notion that "we are all individuals" so you cannot label the guys as that they always look at beauty before engaging, and lets not overlook the ladies who are "materialistic" are all of them like that? the answer that question should have opened some eyes to be aware that "people are different"

Lol well pretty women are for loaded men bare this in mind

Pretty women are for anyman. They have the power to choose whether his loaded, fat, ugly
A cute hottie, or a lil toy boy hahhahaha #truestory.

hahahaha yes Patty "Pretty women" are indeed for any man as much as man would indeed go for any women not for her looks

Well Vusani my man you an I both know you wouldn't date an ugly chick n it's evident anywahere u look I think a perfect comparison is jay zee and beyonce lol lol look @ it this way jay zee is kak ugly but his got moola lots of it! Thts why the evr so flawless beyonce would go for him lol and jay zee goes for beyonce coz she hot as hell.

I agree